the T. vida'

drum roll please.....

2012-01-05T07:01:00.003-06:00

hi friends and family! its been a while....

yes, you may be in shock and awe but i am standing in a finally (almost) finished room! i mean 5 years isnt too long to work on a room right? well, there was that whole laundry issue, unexpectedness, building a fence, running out of money, living in a house with three rooms under construction.... WITH A KID! and plain just being lazy. i must say i am proud though... no experience necessary. just a couple books... some good friends to steal advice/tools from, alot of patience with yourself, and tada you have a little project with lots and lots of bumps in the road, but all yours... even with the imperfections!

amazing when i look back here and here and here that this was what we lived in for quite a while but now......

walls. beautiful. clean, white. dustfree. walls. (pretend there is white trim around that doorway.. hehe)

its amazing you can take this (long patching story) .....

to this ! :) and you cant even tell a bit! well. if you dont count that ceiling sag but that is the houses fault only!

besides having a room free of paintcans, with an actual bed, and none of my daughters toys everywhere, these are my two favorite random finds.. super cheap IKEA lampshade found in the damage section and my earring holder which i made from scraps being thrown away at work!

how does it feel to have a room after 5 years? better than you can really imagine. we have sweated, cried, sat down in anguish, cut ourselves up, laughed, went through money like crazy, learned to use power tools, and prayed that it would PLEASE end as soon as possible.

we are just gonna pretend you didnt just see that.... i'm on it after i relax in my bed a while.

wait... you must be saying.. "wasnt this supposed to be your daughter room?!!??" now, before you start thinking i got greedy wanting the new room and all. we decided to change direction. the "master" room is SO much bigger, has carpet, is far away from our newest trashy neighbors who scream.. alot., and she is comfortable there. best decision EVER! have you seen how much toys a 4 year old girl can accumulate? plus, when i think of tea parties, friends visiting, and sleepovers the big room was a much better idea.

here is a sneak peek but more on that later....

snow only means one thing.. PIE!

2011-02-10T06:44:00.017-06:00

this is the face you get when you dont let your three year old bake the way she wants to

this is how you think your pie is supposed to turn out ...UNTIL you finish reading the directions AFTER the pie is almost thoroughly cooked

of course after that, you get made fun of for not reading a single direction in your life. turns out this is the upside down position the pie is supposed to be even though you did all the lattice on the front. good thing it doesnt change the taste

this is a girl who's mom lets her eat candied sugar from the dish at 10 pm at night. notice change of expression.

this is the vacuum cleaner.

*thanks to grandmother and grandaddy for the home grown alabama pecans!

printmaking photo roll

2010-12-05T16:40:00.000-06:00

i'm gonna wake up to a grown girl

2010-12-05T12:34:00.002-06:00

This morning i woke up to a text with this....

Which reminded me of this...

tree night photo roll

2010-11-28T21:26:00.025-06:00

ah, madelines and cranberry sauce. yes it is possible to eat an entire recipe in one sitting. well, that is if you count the dog who scarfed the last three when no one was looking.

making paper chains with daddy

count. one, two. one more under the tree makes three. long story about how i thought the flood took our treestand. so i bought one, found one cheaper. then well came home and found the flood did nothing to my treestand.

decorator pro. even if it is on the botttom foot of the tree.

sia doing her star hanging job

please someone! spike my apple cider!

this is the aftermath from arriving home from the store to find the tree toppled on the floor and a guilty dog with an ornament on the couch. sia was horrified... that was until she saw me hystrically laughing. i know right,laughing. i couldnt beleive it either.

2010-11-22T21:53:00.000-06:00

seem as though i may have a princess on our hands....

what happens when...

2010-11-15T19:22:00.000-06:00

You leave your three year old unattended.

So much for the new grey porch.

2010-11-11T22:52:00.001-06:00

We are driving home from the grocery store and my daughter starts naming off all the food she wants to eat when she gets home.

I want Popcorn...
I want Chocolate milk...
I want Popcorn...
I want Cereal..
I want Fruit....
I want Chocolate...

I look at her in the review mirror and remind her that she chose not to eat her dinner which was spaghetti. (the reason being that it was spiral and not " real spaghetti" )

She replies " momma, I wasn't hungry for spaghetti! I was HUNGRY for chocolate milk and popcorn!!"

What can I say.

I am always just hungry for plain popcorn... With real melted butter and salt almost every night.

Oops.

meet gunner.

2010-11-06T13:17:00.001-05:00

Introducing the newest member of the household....

Gunner!

I'm not sure what I've gotten ourselves into but it sure is cute!
When sia asked for a leash for her stuffed animal it was cute ... But when she played with it most of the day I started to feel sorry for her. It was then I realized it was time. We found gunners smile to be irresistible....

I think they are gonna work out just fine. :)

:) :) :)

2010-11-02T21:39:00.001-05:00

I wouldn't call it finished... But it's usable!!! I couldn't wait to show you!!!

Finally! Some breathing room.

And yes that is my child in a dryer...parenting goes out the window when remodeling

it's Sunday again.

2010-10-24T11:53:00.001-05:00

Finally! Found someone who knows what they are doing with molding. As you can see she is big help.
My kid loves some tools. I predict she will be a tool girl on HGTV.

the best days are...

2010-10-17T17:56:00.001-05:00

when you fall asleep on the porch swing.

can i say.... !!!

2010-10-15T10:46:00.000-05:00

Hey Hey Hey by Michael Franti & Spearhead @ The Ryman in Nashville 10/13/10

if you look are minute 1:11 right under the sound stage for the guy in the green shirt... thats us!! and one of my favorite songs!!! BEST concert ever! i worked at the ryman for 5 years and never saw people have so much fun!

It’s been a long time coming that I had to say

When I wake up in the morning all I do is pray
For some guidance and protection on the streets today
And an answer to the questions I ask everyday

So tell me why do the birds that used to fly here
Tell me why do they come to die here?
And all the kids that used to run here
Tell me why do they load their guns here?

I remember in the days when
We were one heart, no need to defend
I just wrap my arms around you
Don’t give up, this song is for you

Hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I hold on, I’m trying to hold on
I hold on, hold on, hold on

From the tops of the buildings to the streets below
Between the Wall Street banks and the empty homes
Between the lines of the people standing all in a row
There’s a crack in the gutter where a flower grows

Reminding me that everything is possible
Yeah, reminding me that nothing is impossible
You gotta live for the one that you love you know
You gotta love for the life that you live you know

Singing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I’ll sing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I hold on, I’m trying to hold on
I hold on, I’m trying to hold on

Until the morning comes again
I will remain with you my friend
And we will ride until the sun
Goes to the place where it begun
And we will live to laugh and cry another day

Don’t let nobody ever tell you that it couldn’t be done
Don’t let nobody ever tell you that we couldn’t be one
Don’t let nobody ever tell you that it shouldn’t be sung
Don’t let nobody ever tell you you’re the only one

Singing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I hold on
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I hold on
Whoa, oh, oh, oh

I’m just trying to hold on
Trying to hold on
Trying to hold on

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I hold on, I’m trying to hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

[Michael Franti & SpearHead- Hey Hey Hey Lyrics]

fave.

2010-10-13T17:44:00.000-05:00

hanging out in my kitchen i smile when i look up and i see these. they are vintage Japanese wine bottles that are unopened... but over the years have evaporated. a gift from dearest friend sue-q on my 30th birthday that is one of my fave. she found them at a yard sale and knew they would be the perfect unique gift for her weird friend sunni. she was right. everyone at the gathering was confused but i got it, cause she gets me. ;) my favorite is the red one to the left. its cherry blossom. cant think of a better name for wine.

my dear ladies who look down upon my kitchen and make it a happy place.

i cant help my kid is cute.

2010-10-12T22:02:00.001-05:00

being such a good mommy.

the kid has to entertain herself while mommy tears apart the house. she made me drag this out after seeing and artist use an easel on tv. she ran throught the house screaming " i have one of those!!!!!! i need to PAAAAIIINTTTT!!!! mommy!!! i HAVE to ppaaainnttt!!!!"

so excited to practice writting skills. must be color coordinated however. what can i say.. i have an artist.

moving along

2010-10-12T13:33:00.004-05:00

so you guys have asked and i couldnt explain. so this is the kind of doors we eventually like to like to have....

to go in front of something like this...

which would be half of our laundry. not gonna happen yet. right now we will just use makeshift bookshelves and getting to look at piles of clothes that have thrown up all over the place. which will be better than it is now because our clothes are all over our room since doing this....

which used to be little itty bitty awful closets that were back to back. .. but now a hallway!!! (!!!! yiippee!) and will eventually be a bigger walk through bath. i have to say its AMAZING to walk from the bedroom to the laundry through a hall than around the entire house.

i found this very metallic wall paper. beautiful? ugly? you decide.....

first sheet of wainscoting.... finally!

we had some drywall issues since finding this room being ridiculous cinderblock.. and so, because this is our house... plan B...which i really like since is screams "laundry"

our backporch/ garbage dump.

so i work a little messily. but now can scream "sunT queen of power tools!"

taking a break. whew.

2010-10-02T16:00:00.002-05:00

gonna give all the 15 year olds a run for there money with this as a profile pic. me-ow!

those of you who know my house..

rememeber that odd patched spot that was hidden by a wall that we uncovered?

yikes!

REALLY glad i decided to tear the ceiling out... CRUMBLE,CRUMBLE, CRUMBLE.

glad when there was a roof leak "the former peice of craps" really knew how to fix it the correct way :-/

at least know it wont fall on my daughters head when she throws a ball on the ceiling. (and i know she will cause i did all the time. hence why i had a broken light fixture the rest of my life at the parents)

i am really SO over this, but halfway there.

very thankful for the worst frozen burritos ever! they have been very handy on the injuries of late.

so for those all yall who have watched this project (forever)... hopefully, drywall the laundry this weekend (thanks for you tube!). now that the ceiling is coming down the electric guy can get into the attic. (i think i found the perfect spot, thanks former leak!) to add another back porch light. tear out the other closet to make the (former hallway) now..aka. hopefull bigger master bath.

not getting my hope up but maybe .est 2 months. i will be able to have an WHOLE ENTIRE house to live in!!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe i should add just a couple more exclaimation marks.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unexpected day off.

2010-09-29T11:03:00.001-05:00

My big girl rides all the way to the park all by herself. It's just a block, but still.

::::sniff::::

2010-09-17T10:50:00.001-05:00

remember when i wrote about the ladies on my bus? i havent seen them in a while because i have been taking the express bus. when she showed up on this line i had to sneak a picture of her. i heart this lady.

church hat lady

i was really shocked she didnt have an orange purse and orange shoes to match. it must be casual day.

um, what is that!

2010-09-16T21:16:00.002-05:00

101 on why idiots shall not install dryer vents. er, or the lack there of.

beauty

2010-09-16T10:03:00.003-05:00

this may not look exciting but this is one of the happiest blogs i have posted!!!!! we have only waited 4 years for this!!!!!!!!!! instead of 2 separated scary electrical panels in my daughters future room, we have one beautiful one in my new laundry room. instead of a bathtub of water in my basement, we have we completely new drainage system. and drum roll please.... new washer and dryer hookups into a different room vented to the OUTSIDE!!!
WE ARE ECSTATIC!!!! soon our daughter's clothes, toys, and bed will be out of ours!!!!!

friends, drywall dinner party soon!

my apologies for all the exclamation marks. ....... ok not really.

&$@"!?€£%#!!!!!!

2010-09-14T21:18:00.001-05:00

What the heck is this and why does it think it is allowed to be right in the middle of my wall in the middle of my house at 9 pm when I am really trying to get a move on in this whole remodeling project. Errrrrr
Yes that is a cinderblock wall smack in the middle of my house for no reason right where the dryer was supposed to go.
My house never ceases to amaze me. Or tick me off.

2010-08-28T14:39:00.002-05:00

Yes, these are 3T "skinny" jeans which makes me laugh but I :::heart:::. Yes, that is spiderman hanging out beside them...My daughter is a proud new owner of a spiderman action figure and has been karate chopping all day. Funny watching a little pink flash with ribbons in her hair do a big " hi yaahhh!!" off the couch and land on spiderman and say "killed him" guess that's what happens when your best friend is a boy. In other news her and this best friend had a five minute conversation on the way to the wiggles about poop. Interesting lives of the three and four year old set.

happy birthday my baby girl!

2010-08-25T18:13:00.003-05:00

My baby girl turned 3 this past week!!!

Three years ago on August 23, the best thing that ever happened in my life occurred when my child was born. I decided to celebrate by making a weekend of it!

we started the weekend by turning off all electronics and doing silly things by drawing faces and making them dance and kiss and bite each other. best when done with permanent marker as shown here.

she picked out the ingredients (such as stars) for her cupcakes. and i let them stick to the pan.

she decided at the last minute she wanted a birthday party and the guest to be no other than "her best friend liam" here they are throwing water balloons on chalk drawings. great fun.

she was in awe of presents however when it came to opening them she didnt really want to do it.

blowing out candles was was something she couldnt wait all year to do but when it came down to it she decided she didnt feel like it. twice. we tried to get her to blow out candles two times and she refused!

punch balls was the unexpected big hit. even though blowing them up was quite the challenge. by the way the "rolling technique" described on the bag to close them up dosent work.

daddy's gift of the playdoh popcorn maker was the toys of choice in the early a.m.

cupcakes al fresco after breakfast in cupcake pajamas is always a good idea

lucky is august birthdays.. swimming!!

and what birthday isnt complete by seeing the wiggles with your best friend!

my sneaky girl.

2010-08-08T10:58:00.000-05:00

sia comes to me with the sweetest face ever and says " momma, i'm sorry i yelled at you. .... can i have a cookie?" (points to belly) "my belly button says it needs it"

first off, i don't remember her yelling at me. nor, did i yell at her. so this is her secret way of trying to get her way. of course, it worked.

someone else wanted cookie too. we are babysitting my boss's baby....

sia trying to "hide" her cookie from a cocker spaniel.

if you look at the top of this picture you can see the scream i missed as lucy got far too close to her cookie. even though sia gladly gave her half of her unwanted pop tart this morning.

wiping her face after being quite selfish.

the stare down. a glass table makes it that much more interesting.

we may be getting a dog soon. we were all wondering how sia who isnt the biggest fan of dogs was going to handle her weekend visitor. good and bad news is they get along splendidly. as much as we have explained the weekend babysitting situation she is calling "eewcy".. her dog.
crap.
looks like someone will be going to visit the rescue center soon.

tweet tweet

2010-08-07T19:56:00.004-05:00

if you cant tell these are our newest additions to the yard....three little chirping (screaming) birdies who dont even have their eyes open!!

2010-08-07T19:36:00.001-05:00

art day.

2010-07-24T14:05:00.002-05:00

my little pollock going to town on the kitchen floor.

the best day is when a friend invites you over to use up all his old art supplies of which includes the biggest sketch page i have ever seen, watercolor, and really massive brushes for a three year old..

pretty sure momma did more art than sia, and she preferred pouring water all over the place /eating cinnamon rolls.

after storytime.

2010-07-21T13:40:00.009-05:00

:::heart:: the nashville public library

sia :::hearts:: whatever these things are called. i have thought about buying one, but i am sure then she would never play with it.

she :::hearts::: the courtyard to eat lunch

she :::hearts::: kissing her daddy

she :::hearts:::: this eggplant rocker. yes you heard correctly, eggplant. i dont understand why they dont have more of these. its every kids fave.

she :::hearts::: serenading her momma with some lunchtime singing

she :::hearts::: cuddling her momma

she actually found a penny on the ground and took off running to throw it in. i didnt know that she knew to do that! though i used to do it all the time, its been a while.

she :::hearts::: pushing elevator buttons and validating the parking ticket.

so in general. we :::heart::: it here.

these boots are made for walking and updates

2010-07-17T11:50:00.003-05:00

... and of course happiness for mommy is best pair of boots ever!

so look at this big girl! she is making my heart stop by growing this fast. i haven't kept yall too updated but if you didn't notice i lost my baby to be replaced by this imaginative, sweet, smart, amazing, beautiful child. (i can brag if i want to.. its my blog)
so big news this week.. we are a completely diaper free household!!! yippeee!!!! we have been "potty trained" for a while. however, we never took the overnight step completely and by accident here we are!! no more diapers! i love what kind of wonderful parents we are that we forgot to put a diaper on her one night. oops.
in other news our big new word is "humongous!" we finally care about crayons (i spoiled her by giving her markers first) i have accepted its no big deal to let my child color all over herself. she thinks she is a kitty named buster 70% of the time. we are obsessed with watermelons and cantaloupe. many will be happy to know sia has all a sudden decided to be social. all those trips to the most crowded places ever as much as possible worked. shocker i know she might actually say "hi" to you.. watch out once she gets started she doesn't stop.
the best part of being almost three is all the concepts that are taking place in her head. its like everything is finally coming together and making sense. i planted herbs in my kitchen window and since its right there everyday the concept of dirt, seed, water = grow. even though she has known it for a while its like it clicked, and to see it "click" right before my eyes was so unreal and thats what makes being a mommy so interesting and amazing.
i just turned 31 however her almost turning 3 is hurting me worse. i am sooo happy yet so sad at the same time. but its beautiful.

July

2010-07-13T21:14:00.001-05:00

Bi polar blog no more

2010-07-13T20:57:00.002-05:00

Now that I have resolved my blog personality issues and gotten a much better form of posting maybe I can be a liitle better than my sporadic post as of late. bear with me as i try to figure out my new posting app.

ah, cyberspace i knew you were out there!

2010-07-10T08:17:00.003-05:00

dear dear world,
if i had known how much response i would have received from my last post i would have written like i really felt from the beginning of time!
yes. i am ok. yes jared is ok. its all perfectly ok.
so now i am thinking the title should have been "dear blog". my last post was mostly written to my blog because i am constantly torn between writing how i really feel about this world and my life compared to what the blog was made for, the T family. a place for pictures, an snippets of our life as a family.
so i guess this answered my question...time for a private blog. i will still keep this one up of course for all the lovely people who care about our silly life so no worries!

duck tape and birds everywhere

2010-07-09T20:55:00.002-05:00

sitting here wondering if i even want to write this or for that matter wanting you to read this. i have all these random thoughts and questions running fast as lightning through my head and i dont know even how to catch them in my hand to show you.
i almost did it. i tried to desert you. i wanted to run free and write free. sorry to say i might yet still. see the thing is there is all this stuff going through my mind at all times all this stuff i want to share with you.
and i cant.
i'm stuck.
a silent mockingbird.
i'm tangled in vines.
i want to be able to tell all this stuff to you yet, you harbor judgements against me. at least i think you do. as i always sit here, sometimes never writting, i shuffle back and forth between slapping the duck tape over the real feelings beside the one who has to be careful to not share too much. you are the world. i want to share myself with you. sometimes i feel as though you want to know me.. you say you do.. but, do you want to know me? or do you just want to know the person you think you have made inside your head of me?
i did start this to keep in touch, to show just my family life. i realize though for me there isnt just this family life. there is my full life. myself. i might still leave you and wonder who i will bring with me. who can i share all those real thoughts with?

little things

2010-06-03T07:17:00.000-05:00

flowers make me happy. poppies make me even happier. camera phone doing weird pixalation to my flowers not happiness. however, ahhhhh red poppies on my porch.

watching through your kid's eyes is awesome

2010-06-02T23:31:00.003-05:00

sia gazing at her first rainbow...

realizing her sucker looked like that rainbow...

hot tub? photo roll

2010-05-30T20:54:00.002-05:00

this is what happens when you buy a new tankless hot water heater... you cant afford a hot tub... you are originally from the country.. you have bored kids.. you buy a baby pool on sale...and its a little chilly outside:

showing my age

2010-05-22T15:59:00.010-05:00

my last post included a book Art and Soul: 156 ways to free your creative spirit. if you know me you probably are wondering "why, sun do you need this... like you don't have enough stuff to do". i have to say all around this book is complete cheese, however, i stumbled upon this sentence... "kids know important things-things we "mature grown ups" have forgotten." this to me is so true.
couple weeks ago i picked up my violin to start learning how to play it again. the main reason i bought my violin (at the age of 27) is because i realized i had quit learning and living. why could i not learn something new? why do the kids get to have all the fun? i don't want to be 70 and not have anything interesting to talk about or completely bored to death watching old re-runs with the fan going. i work and work. i clean and clean. and get up the next day and do it all over again. i wanted to learn again, play again, but not in the classroom where grades count. somehow in the past three years i forgot about that.
the chapter title.. "create or die" sparked my interest, maybe we really are all just bored to death. i am busy as hell... and bored. my friend says to me.. "life is what happens when your not at work". after a particularly stressful season at my job, i am ready for a new beginning.

i miss myself.

i have my list book. i have my pen and sketch pad ready. two very empty canvasses sitting in my hallway.
i am tired of when friends call to check on me and ask "what have you been up to" and my reply is "work". so i am calling my inner dork and taking the challenge.
week one here i go..

go to a thrift store and buy the most outrageous outfit you can. (we will see, maybe an accessory..i am creative. duh= poor)

learn three little known facts about MLK jr. (i should)

make sugar cookies shaped like body parts. (cant wait to bring these to work and give them somthing new to talk about)

invent a new type of soup. (this is happiness)

name a rock band. (i am working on it. delmas something ..)

paint your fingernails 10 different colors (i started with a funky crazy purple color which ended up looking like this thanks to a steel wool brush and a pan. but now have 4 new colors to add from my friend happy deb....

::::::"At what age did you quit hanging your art on the refrigerator?"::::::

good question.

what does my stack say?

2010-05-15T13:39:00.006-05:00

i went to the library yesterday because i finally paid off my fine or should we say... enough to check out books again. as said before, i have this huge book problem. i cant help it. i love them. a thought came to me as i trudged along (with my stack bigger than my child) of how if someone was to run into me and follow me around in a library how much they would learn about me in 30 min. then i realized how much i learned about myself .

i always stick to the same sections and topics even though i always want to venture out. when searching through the catalog i never write down the whole number just the area. i always pick out far too many books for the time period of checkout. i like books with illustrations or pictures. i hate being in the same isle as another person. what does this say about me?

scared to leap before i think?

always on a whim without a plan?

wanting too much?

very visual in perceptions?

personal space and privacy are important?

wow kinda says alot about me.

then in my selections i wonder..how does the stacks i walk out with represent who i am? if these are my main subjects of interest is that all i am? are my topics to broad or to small? hmmmm. well these are my selections yesterday:

-preschool art: its the process not the product

-365 ways to live cheap : everyday guide to saving money

-how much can you stand? : a creative guide to facing your fears and making your dreams come true

-parents play and learn : 300 kid pleasing skill building activities

-art and soul: 156 ways to free your creative spirit

topics i searched through-

gardening

organizing

environmentalism

happiness

glanced at-

mother/daughter relationships

horses

usually go through but didn't yesterday-

art

home decorating

crafts

what i touch but pass by-

travel memoirs

i almost never go to the fiction section although that is mainly what i read for fun.

what does all this say about me? could i ever be anyone else than who i am? is who you are what you choose or what you are born with or what you grew up around? how are these subjects i am drawn to, so engrained in my head that i choose them over and over. is there more that i choose not to explore? can anyone be anything except the stack of books they choose when no one is looking?

i am reminded of what a dork i truly am.... however, my true self. the books and subjects i look through are my ultimate interest. no one is looking at the books in my hand ready to judge, to see how hip i am, or grade my intelligence. i wondered what stacks the other people had or what the people close to me would choose. and again. this is why i try not to think.

12 things i love today

2010-05-14T13:52:00.001-05:00

1. the obvious... its friday.
2. the chiropractor.
3. my cell phone is charged.
4. i didnt miss my bus.
5. my daughters goodbye kiss.
6. hot water at work.
7. getting my hands dirty in soil.
8. renewed hope for friends.
9. coffee.
10. public libraries
11. clouds
12. these lyrics... minus the 10 kid part

Mainly on the plain side and sing 'cause it is.. we can laugh, we can sing, Have ten kids and give them everything, Hold our cell phones up in the air, And just be glad we made it here alive

no sweating allowed its only 89* outside

2010-05-07T07:02:00.009-05:00

ive turned into a bonafide hippie.
its official.
so this morning i realized i have totally been a half asser when it come to being environmentally friendly. i thought i was so hip and cool and green. i recycle diligently. i turn off the water when i brush my teeth. i do not litter. i ride public transportation.

we are conserving water here in nashville. our one plant left working is at 50% last i heard. ok... "we" is taken light because numbers show we are conserving some, but not enough. the police shut down the car washes and you are supposed to report people when they are using water stupidly. such as watering lawns (this has actually happened) because clearly after 14 feet of rain you should surely water your grass. idiots.

there is no way i could ever be reported because from 10 feet away you can see that i have not only cut my water usage by 50% as required see here what that means but I have decided to take one for the team and cut it by 90%. this of course has been helped by the fact that i have not had hot water for almost a week. nor will i in the next couple of days. the thought was we would just let the hot water heater dry out for a couple days. this however has ended with the warning such as "if you attempt to light pilot light after tank has been submerged in water you risk blowing up your house and yourself" this isn't exactly how i want to spend the rest of my year as 30.

so, off to the land of new water heaters.. but as you would expect after an entire city being underwater for days there isn't a whole heck of hot water heaters or the man power to install them. so we are just riding it out besides i figure a hot shower is trivial compared to losing all drinking water or people who don't even have a house to shower in. ok, you are probably freaking out.. YES, i have had 2 very short showers this week at my friend carolines house and you can expect a few more. i have found you can get by if you don't sweat profusely, use a little baby powder in the hair, and that shaving is possible with lotion. gross huh. i don't care.. i just look at it for practicing for bonnaroo. now i just rock indie hair and throw in lots off accessories and i admit i have had lots of "i love your hair today" cant be THAT bad. and i didn't throw in that non-work appropriate peasant skirt on for nothing! i am trying to play the part here guys!

me and my gross accessorized hair

so back to my environmentalism. i bought flowers a couple days after the flood. now i am an idiot. flowers make me happy. i had to do something. its pushing 90 the past couple days. guess what that does to new flowers. ::::LIMP:::: so i had to figure out a way to water my flowers without feeling guilty. thanks to small budget gardener and duh, thinking... the little water we used to wash off sias cups, washing hands and face in a 30 minute period i saved in a big bowl and was SHOCKED to see how much grey water there was. WHAT! THAT MUCH WATER IN THAT SHORT OF TIME!!! i came to the conclusion of how much water i REALLY waste. i mean really my face wasn't THAT dirty. on to the flowers and they are happy. hopefully a little soap in there wont kill em. guess i will live and learn. i also just learned you can bring jugs of water downtown to get water thats being pumped out of buildings for your flowers. nothing like yummy river flood water with a little sewage for good measure!! maybe if i get desperate.

so in the aftermath to this catastrophe that has happened to my city my eyes have been opened to oh so many things. my camping skills come in handy. my basement really stinks. i love my neighbors. my favorite quote of the week from mags..."oh that fork? just rinse it off. no need for a dishwasher." my city and its people are amazing. flowers don't need clean tap water. i need to smile more. that its ok to feel lucky, and its ok to feel guilty. a little dirt wont hurt. am i doing all i can? that everything can change in a matter of minutes.. for anyone, at anytime. my needs have lowered and patience level has skyrocketed. a friend said to me.. "don't sweat the small stuff".

i missed my bus and because they are so few buses i had no clue when the next
one came, no sweat.
only two tellers at the bank.. long lines... maybe the other people are
pushing sludge, no sweat.
the dishes are high with no end in sight, no sweat.
reusing water is gross yeah but, no sweat.
my hair has seen cleaner days, no sweat.

there are just more important things. pictures of water flood my brain in my sleep. my friends attend their friends funerals. this is my year to be a hippie.

wouldnt ya know

2010-05-04T12:19:00.015-05:00

everytime we get any kind of extra money something is always bound to happen. jared and i have decided that had our income tax return had not come on friday, nashville wouldn't have flooded. every bonus, every unexpected gift, something will break and i dont mean small things like a dish.. its like a dishwasher. my plates of 9 years.. not one has broken. so we usually don't get much of a tax return but we got lucky this year and couldn't wait to get projects taken care off. i had all the plans noted in my head. but oh no... this time double wammy. #1 i decided to go to the dentist, not a good idea. i was better off not knowing that i might as well pull out all my teeth financially. #2 i rushed home from east tn to water gushing into my basement and jared soaking wet knee deep with mud, a pail in his hand and a terrified expression on his face.

my never ending project. my sweet dear house i fell in love with.

so #1. its obvious, i need my wisdom teeth pulled. you say "really sun, you still HAVE those things?". i know, anyone over the age of 20 no longer has them.. but i have issues. real issues. i would rather have a c-section again than go to the dentist. you think i kid but i do not. i guess its from all those years with braces and an hygienist who had made a pact with the devil and flossed teeth to get back at people. any teeth being pulled is like this huge terrifying fear of mine, give me an enclosed room of spiders any day. the first tooth my dentist wanted to pull was one of my front bottom teeth.. to "make room" at the age of 13ish. pretty sure my words went something like " like hell you will, make it fit." and he did. so i was safe from that one. then the same guy said at 16 the wisdom teeth had to go. by that point i didn't trust him. so now i'm 30 with these jacked up teeth and i think its time. so i go waltzing in to get my teeth cleaned and for them to tell me yes it was time. as i lay there palms sweating, this crazy dentist guy joked and laughed his way though mentioning i need not one, but 3 root canals. "EXCUSE ME?" "WHAT?!?!" did you just say root canal? i'm not OLD enough for a root canal let alone three! i don't even know what a root canal IS!!!! this cant be happening to me. C-SECTION PLEASE!! ANYONE?? at least THAT is covered by insurance. oh yea btw the totals for those WITH insurance totals a nice $900 each. oh wait let me just grab that $3000 i just got laying around.. excuse my language... shit.

yeah that crooked smile is very deceiving and i am not smiling this big now

#2 my city is under siege by the cumberland river. i went to my surrogate nieces birthday to return to a different country during rainy season. or so i thought. if we were a rainy season kinda country we would be prepared with no basements and pumps. nope. i do have a basement and i don't live in the rain forest. in a matter of a couple hours my basement went from damp to rushing muddy water. just watching the steps disappear we were terrified and helpless not knowing when the water would stop and what is could potentially do to our dear house...it made my heart shiver. couple more feet and it would be in our air system and all the bones of my house. thankfully my handy friend bwood taught me by phone the art of siphoning since there wasn't a pump known to be left in nashville. after poor jared got 5 draining hoses working and pailed countless buckets of water out in knee deep slush with no lights might i add..a day later we found a dry basement. now starts the cleaning up, praying our like new water heater will still work and trying to figure out mysterious things that started happening to our house. such as, outlets that haven't worked in 2 years start working and other electrical things have stopped. all i can see is dollar signs draining out my basement door.

whine whine whine. seems like all i could do was feel sorry for myself and what could have been. then no. i am humbled. so very humbled. laying in bed sunday night soggy and smelly i am humbled... safe with my family in my home, with most of my teeth perfect and semi-white, while my dear dear city continues to be destroyed. 10 dead. my friends being evacuated. losing homes and cars and farms. historic landmarks and businesses rushed with water, mud, and sewage. people not knowing when they can go back to work.. losing paychecks. truckers losing their well beings. people sleeping on school floors.

i am humbled. i am thankful. my 3 rotten teeth and all.

*all these pics are stolen so i cant credit them since i dont know who took them.

thanks random nashvillian photographers

I LOVE YOU NASHVILLE!!!!

2.8 and spring

2010-04-22T17:56:00.002-05:00

photo roll: our tree night

2009-12-08T13:31:00.007-06:00

gettting wrapped up in garland was the ultimate fun!

i am quoting sia right after this was taken....

" i LOVE christmas!!!!"
sia was all about the decorating (throwing)

it took a couple tries but once she figured it out she was hooked. no pun intended.
so intense

admiring her work

this is our 1st "family" christmas tree.

i got a little teary eyed here,

i will admit

my anti-christmas cards

2009-12-05T13:56:00.021-06:00

we all know of course i buck everything traditional and why not send out happy autumn cards instead of christmas cards? christmas is so stressy and so expected. i like to send cards out in different times like spring and fall. my plan almost worked! however, i didn't get them out until the week of thanksgiving instead of mid-october as planned. um, ok some aren't even done but for those people i will make them a christmas card instead. maybe. hey! i tried and it really almost happened dang pneumonia ruined my fall. i am such a procraftinator. anyways... they turned out completely different than imagined but i had fun as always.

so my big plan was to do woodblock prints because i needed to make some thing i could mass produce quickly. my neighbor built a fence with a million wood scraps and i loved printmaking in college so i thought piece of cake! i will print my cards! the only problem was that i did every difficult printmaking technique but the oldest one in the book! WOOD! i researched and asked my trusty co worker "awesome brian" how to do it and he even brought me his tools since he has a plethora of everything handy. i got to work say... early fall. then i got a little behind when i almost cut my finger off ( your supposed to put it in a brace but i was being lazy, go figure.)

when i gave up on cutting my block. i rolled out paint on foil. using a brayer mixed two colors to make it fade. rolled it onto the woodcut. placed my paper on top, or you could say unsuccessfully centered. pressed with a wooden spoon and my body weight, pulled off the paper, chased liam and sia out of the kitchen(yeah i was babysitting! what was i thinking?), laid them all out to dry for the next woodblock which would be a different color and letter shapes .............................................................................................................................................................................................

i seemed to abandon ship on the second woodcut and decided to let it become what it may as usually things in my life seems to go. pull out the stamps, the paint and my crazy brain...

my woodblock print cards quickly became mixed media

envelopes needed to match cause i am weird that way

i got a little off on some of my prints and had to make up the space by adding some additional marks which i wanted to look like were printed. end of paint brush handle and PRESTO!

"holiday" family portrait. taken with iphone because as you can see in pics above, my camera is still broken. jareds head is almost chopped off but its really hard to take a pic with a moving 2 year old. after about the 5th try she was done.

this one seemed perfect!

dummy me forgot to take a finished photo but you kinda get the gist from the photo above. so TA-DA! there they are and i am pretty happy with them since it was my first time trying that technique.i really like how the print is raised, kinda like its embossed. i defiantly will try it again, but maybe i should stick with linoleum blocks till i make a brace....i would like to live my life with all my fingers. we will see what happens next time.

looks like a good load of laundry

2009-12-05T13:51:00.003-06:00

as i was going through my camera today i came across this photo taken apparently this week. good to know my husband is keeping tabs on our daughter while i am at work.

looks like progress

2009-11-29T16:11:00.015-06:00

help!

just kidding we are ok!

cheers to day #1 demo of scary room! so if you don't know about our house its a small, beautiful, cozy, warm, eerrrrr, spazzy, sometimes really annoying 1940 cottage, we bought a couple years ago. it had just a couple faults to say the least, most of which are livable or moderately easy to fix.

this is not that part. we have a room which was poorly thought out and shabbily drywalled. not one but 3, yes three times. the trim is flush with the wall, the breaker boxe(s) are really deep, (yeah that is 2 breaker boxes in one room. we actually have 3! that is what happens to houses made into apts.) and lets be honest... the ceiling looks as if it will fall any minute.wait. there is more... and there is a washer and dryer in a "bedroom" that dosent have a door. my daughter is 2 and still sleeps in our bedroom .. because her room looks like the picture above!

this project was started one month into moving in, with a friend and a bottle of wine at 8:30 pm one wall came down..

caroline and i. 2006

3 1/2 years and one pregnancy later....

today started the big... i am so over this, its now or never! we need to live in our whole house project.
i am going at this knowing pretty much nothing as to how to do any of it. i have made myself prepared for the worst as i have learned to do with my house i love so much. well today went as planned! so you see the slats in the wall above? oops! right off i was mistaken. there wasn't 3 layers of drywall! there was 2 and this nice piece of work we call: plaster. complete with all with the horse hair intact! i thought i got rid off all the ugly green when we moved in! apparently..wrong again.

the top layer came off beautifully as you can see in the pic above. the second layer not so much. pounding away at the plaster i was determined to get all the way to the bottom of this mess but i stopped and realized, maybe i should actually think about something before i did it. think i did and have decided so far i will keep the plaster for a barrier from all the scary things behind it. i may however, change my mind depending on what the ceiling looks like when i tear that down. so there it is!

thanks maggie for keeping the kid, home depot for your very large carts, caroline for all the advice, mom and dad for the perfect gift every 2 year old dreams of: sheetrock, brian for your wonderful tools, and most of all... jared for putting up with my plethora of never ending projects. (i think jared still secretly wishes he bought a house in the burbs built in 1998.)

so speaking of projects! next topic!!! my paper bag foor. weird i know. i searched and searched for a temporary floor for the laundry and sias room we could afford. i came up with this thanks to google!

paper bags or kraft paper
polyurethane
crafty hands
$80

TA DA!

not quite dry or finished laundry floor but you get the picture.

my temporary solution i fell in love with and ended up getting a little carried away.... i also redid sia's playroom table; formally known as our kitchen table; formerly known as jared college table; formerly known as his moms something or another table.

drag your dining room table out to the front yard
cut off the legs
unscrew drop leaves
paint
get far to crafty than you should
add some castors
hope you have a backup dining table somewhere

so, i finally have a good answer to everyones question... "hows the project going? have you even started?"

YES!

fear not.

2009-11-27T14:45:00.011-06:00

i faced alot of my huge fears today. done and accomplished are the following:

#1 walking into dark basement
#2 screwing in a light bulb
#3 cleaning a meat product in actual shape of an animal

wow what a day! ok, so first. i am totally fine with my basement. i have friend we will call her Q who growing up was terrified of her parents basement. did i say growing up? i meant just generally terrified of her parents basement. i have to say having quite a few hangout sessions in that basement it caught on to me too even though it is completely finished and furnished. claims are that many a creepy things have taken place there and so it has been a fact basements are scary. so back to my basement. mine is FAR from finished as theirs. it is more like a cellar with dirt floors and half walls, pipes, electric things hanging down, and hardly tall enough to stand up in. but its mine and i am totally not scared of it. until... i go to get christmas stuff out of it and realize every bulb is out. i tried the switch several times to make sure there wasn't just a short, but that wasn't my luck. they were actually ALL out! how is all 4 bulbs out and knight in shining armor isn't here to help and i have one chance to get down there during the kid's nap to get my precious christmas stuff. ok, take a deep breath. we have to have a flashlight around here somewhere. yup i am in luck! 4 of them! uh yeah, what happened to those batteries i had on the grocery list last week? apparently i missed that line. sooo.....think. think. think. jareds ryman jacket!!!! yes! i know he has his flashlight in there and i told him to get some batteries from the ryman since i had forgotten to buy one for him! yiipppee!. :::sneaks into sleeping baby's room and digs into closet to find flashlight to save the day!::::: what! i turn it on to find the dimmest speck of light coming out of this stupid flashlight! think. think. think. ok, i am just gonna have to go down there and face my fear of the dark cellar.

put on hepa mask. (yet another fear: asthma attacks) check.
two half used light bulbs (hated because they give off a funky light). check.
move crap out of the way on stairs check. shhhhhiiiiiiiiaaaaa !!!!!!!!!...... ok, dont fall. check.
prepare for the worst. check.

my basement is FINE in the light. but in the dark there may be a huge live pooping raccoon or worse, a dead one. or even more scary, a homeless pooping man. (i have always had this slight fear that i would one day walk down there and a homeless guy would have set up camp and living down there. the pooping just has been added to it since running into a homeless guy pooing in the street a couple weeks ago. i am traumatized.)

ok on to fear number dos. did you read my last post? you may remember me mentioning a string of christmas lights blowing up in my hand. i was in elementary when there was this huge blue bulb that was out on a string of lights my mom was hanging on the arch in my house. i noticed if i twisted it a little it would come on. as i was telling my mom how if i jiggled it around it would go on and off her terrifed voice from on top a chair yelled "doooonntt touch iiiiiiiiiit it has a ssshhooorrrrr......." POW! it blew up in my hand! the whole bulb! maybe semi-electrocuting me! and frying my entire right hand to a crisp! i don't really know as an adult how bad it was but for me it was the worst experience of my life up until that point. i spent an entire night on my parents floor wrapped in blankets while i kept my hand it a bowl of ice. if you don't know... when frying your hand almost off it keeps feeling like you are burning it over and over for hours. put it into a bucket of ice water to cool it off gives you a completely opposite horrible sensation. so ended up i lived to tell it even though i couldn't write for a month and then when it started to heal lit cracked and bleed. (i will spare you the details of that). so this bring us to one of my till this day my biggest fear in life. light bulbs. i do not touch them. nope, not at all. at least until the last couple years. i have gotten myself to screw in a light bulb in a lamp with the cord unplugged. AND if i didn't have ENOUGH to worry about.... light bulbs in general. scary dark basement with things living in it. not knowing if the switch is truly off . these dang new light bulbs have MERCURY in them! i mean seriously? the chances of a clumsy girl, hands shaking, putting in a time bomb like a light bulb isnt going to drop it??????. urh!

number three. the turkey. my first turkey. heck, my first actual bird. in bird form. can i get some smelling salts up in here? so i am fine with meat. i dont call myself a vegetarian cause i will eat it and every once in a while crave it. i'm just not the biggest fan ...usually prefer not to eat it but i am totally fine with frying up a chicken breast for the family or digging into a monster sized cheesebuger when i've gone too long without food. what i do have a problem with is.... cleaning whole animals. don't know how that happened. i am from the country and grew up in the beliefs that meat is for eating as long as it isn't wasteful. maybe i have a bad memory, but it seems the only time a whole bird was cooked in my house was holidays. somehow in all my past i have managed to steer clear of this part at any meal. i never even saw it till it was done let alone cleaned it! the biggest fight i think my sister and i ever had was once at my parents summer place she was going to cook a whole chicken. i was in high school and since she is 10 years older than me she was mature and cooking whole birds. she told me i was to clean the chicken...a whole (minus the head) intact chicken. i flipped out and refused, ran down the street and she and i were at it for days! so here i am at 30 preparing my first whole turkey today... cursing myself for forgoing nice cut turkey breast to get a good deal and..................... ah!...... i think this thing might talk to me!!!! shhhiiiiiaaaaaaaaaa !!! what is that thing i just pulled out!?! a neck!!?! it cant talk to me now but i am sure it's cursing at me from turkey heaven. omg! omg! omg! ok slap the butter and the thyme under his skin. throw it in the oven. run. peak around corner to make sure he isnt climbing out of oven. we are safe. thank god i DO NOT have to look at it for 5 hours.

i think i am good to go.

happy day after thanksgiving to me. i am awesome.

bahumbug!

2009-11-21T12:09:00.016-06:00

hold your breath. i think i caught the holiday bug.

i usually HATE christmas. ok i am not really a scrooge, that is my dad (not really, he just pretends). i just have worked retail for a really long time. see how YOU feel working a couple black fridays. if that is not enough i am so over the following: cheesy christmas decor, cold weather, decorating in cold weather, bad christmas songs, looking at christmas merchandise since before halloween, crowds, traffic, being tense, materialism, obligatory gifts, taking down decor in the even colder weather. just to name a few.

but this year, its not even thanksgiving and i decorated my porch. huh? UM, someone call the doctor! you could say its because i can do this wearing shorts and so the cold weather hasn't had time to make a scrooge out of me (yet) this year.

i used to love christmas when i was a kid. i was the first to drag out the deteriorating greenery for my parent's picket fence, begged for the biggest tree ever (even though we had the smallest living room ever), and i even took one for the team when in 3rd grade when one the old school kind of string lights blew up and fried my right hand. unfortunately, somewhere between alot of working, alot of flus, finances, shuffling, stressing through the years... the joy for the holidays got lost.

this year i have chosen to change that. i have let go of "christmas" and i cant remember the last time i felt this excited about the holidays! the biggest change is we chose to opt out of the ususal holidays this year. no presents, no parties, no dinners, no driving. it took alot to swallow it down and tell everyone that we are not participating in christmas this year. it felt completely selfish for doing so. however, have found it the best choice for my sanity, for my husband, and my child. i let go of the stress and the pleasing and the running and the going and took a moment to embrace what i have and breathe. i am choosing to be thankful. i am choosing quality over quantity. i am relishing the fact i will see my spouse AND my daughter at the same time for 2 whole days. (during a span of a year we have... count: 1-2-3-4-5 days off together and they are on holidays. yup you heard that right. unless we miss work that is FIVE days. the way our jobs are we have no weekends, no vacation together. not to mention shifts at our night jobs. the two other i took off were: 3 days to do exhausting home improvements and 3 days of jared laying on the couch with a fever).

so as you can imagine i am totally and overwhelmingly excited for the holidays!

i have a turkey (first time ever) in my freezer. plans to put a tree in our living room without dreading it. sias present is already bought. if the turkey dosent get cooked. oh well. if i dont feel like getting a tree. we will live. happy. joyful. thankful. whohooooooooooooooooooooooo!.

things i will miss about the holidays: my sister's always holiday creativeness such as, chocolate mice pictured here (happy birthday today to you sis! enjoy 29!) and the scarf my niece made me that year.

xmas 2005

so come on mr. holiday! i don't care about your freezing weather cause i already have the lights up! (and backup boxes of cereal in case i burn, under cook, or drop the turkey). so ha!

my cook

2009-11-20T11:18:00.005-06:00

not such thing as too many cooks in the kitchen at my house. i have a little biscuit maker who has to be involved with the whole process.

she cant take your man

2009-11-20T04:47:00.003-06:00

haley from paramore at the ryman singing without a mic

a couple weeks ago i worked paramore and found that this rocker chick can actually sing. i was so impressed thought i would share. for those who don't know, at the ryman alot of singers will sing acapella or without a mic at the end of thier set to show how it used to be done and how awesome you can actually hear. some artist do it better than others. i have to say haley of paramore did an awesome job. i worked it the top of the balcony and could hear it perfectly. thank god for a teeny who is making it and can ACTUALLY sing ( sorry taylor i love your cd but you really make me cringe when you sing live)

actual paramore

i feel like tommorrow i will have a teenager

2009-11-11T12:24:00.006-06:00

that little baby of mine is growing up. one day she was as baby curling up in my arms then next she was giving a quick hug before running off to play. she went from needing my hands for every need to telling me " i can do it MYSELF!". now she has conversations with me at dinner asking me "mama, how are you doing today?"as she props her head up with her hand. she says to me "mama, i don't need a diaper on. i go pee in the potty". when i say "we have to get dressed before we go to the park" she runs as fast as she can and picks out the appropriate clothes from the correct drawers and starts to put them on. today she tells me "mama, i need a nap." and walks to the bedroom and goes to sleep. everyday i am so proud and that she is growing up and being self sufficient. BUT.... i am a very selfish mommy. i have to say i cherish the moments when she sticks her paci in before bed, its like i have my little baby back just for a few precious moments. we get paci and rock and cuddle and she stares deep into my eyes while she plays with my hair and pats my face.

things however, have turned sour. PACI!!!! PACIII!!!! PACIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL DAY LONG!

ok enough.

my paci sleeping baby has turned into a paci craving, screaming toddler. it just happened one day. all a sudden she whines and begs for it all times and i am worn out from distracting every second of the day.

i know how it began. for about a month the thompson house has been very sick and sleeepy.. verryyyyy sleepy. what started out as a runny nose has ended up with all three of us hacking, sneezing, and feverish and up all hours of the night. sia ended up having pneumonia and now has an asthmatic wheez. i have to say paci has been there thru thick and thin. she has been a comfort. she has let us sleep and stay calm.

however, i think the time has come to say goodbye. her nighttime paci has become her best friend but hardly a good one, and it has gotten out of hand. sia is hardly content without it.

i am bracing myself for the worst. saturday the paci will mysteriously be cut and broken and will be sent off to the paci fairy to be fixed and given to other babies.

wish me luck. i am very, very terrified.

my sweet girl

2009-10-28T21:01:00.003-05:00

hanging out in the backyard with bear.

overwhelmed. "hey! thats not on the list!"

2009-10-22T22:38:00.008-05:00

list.

check.

i realized today my life is a list. its not the usual, i think its just a moment thing or i am just in a funk. tonight as i was working at home staring at the computer screen because it is easier to work at home with a two year old than with grown adults. i opened my notebook to my work list. finally! i got to check 5 more things off that list. um yea... i wrote that list over a month ago and trust me its not like i have been sitting around doing nothing. the list started out as my to do for the day. i don't usually do that but when i start having shifts at my second job again, retail with christmas around the corner, and a child who destroys everything in her path before i can clean up the last mess kind of days... there just isn't enough coffee for that. so when it started the list it was made for the day. then the week. and well now the month. seriously, i haven't added to that list since. what was i thinking in that it would only take a day?

sometimes i feel like my list in life are pulling me apart. i have all theses people pulling me and adding to that list that sometimes i just want to scream.

at work i have my goal list, vendor list, order list, stock list, customer list, then the 20 other people's preferences (who think that theirs are defiantly way more important whether they are relevant or not) for my list, list.

i have my i hate the most bills. bill. debt payment, bill. grocery list, bills bills, grocery list (again) list.

the home what to do, what to fix, what to clean, what other people think should have been done(which i want to say they can do it themselves if they want) list.

toliet: check

mop:check

laundry:check

playdoh out of seat cushion:check

blueberry stain on couch:check

dust: check

scrape stickers off the floor:check

tv smudges:check

mop:check

straighten slipcover: check

straighten slipcover: CHeck

straighten slipcover: CHECK

my daughter's ...which i love the most but feel so tired by the end of everything i feel like it gets put on the wrong shelf. it is the eating, feeding, coloring, swinging, dancing, changing, dress up, read a book for the millionth time, change again, tea parties, hide in the dishwasher box list.

the fun one that keeps withering away is the date night, write a note, go to a concert, call a friend, meet a friend at a bar or heck in another state list.

the to-read book list.

the travel list.

the sleeping list.

and then the one that never gets done whatsoever these days. the me, the art, the porch, the driving down a country road, smelling the sun, laying in the grass, list.

i should probably be working away scratching off at a list as i type but wait, this is my everyday journal writing list. you just got lucky because its faster to type than write. so really i am just blowing off some steam before i smack somebody and i will feel much better in the morning. thanks for letting me whine.*

*adding whining to the list

6 things that make me happy today

2009-10-18T12:23:00.008-05:00

1.the sun is shining through changing leaves and they are falling on my deck. yeah i said sun .. its been a couple months since its been around.

2.my yoga pants. i heart them. its our one year anniversary. best $50 bucks i ever spent at on outlet store.
3.hubby made pumpkin pancakes. yum. he has come a long way since teaching him to boil water in college.
4.no fevers in my house.
5.a dogs greeting can make you feel like your the best thing since sliced bread.
6.a new week. last week was plain long.

for real tea.

2009-10-17T17:57:00.008-05:00

i love story line kind of photos (if you cant tell from previous post). i don't know if its because i am obsessive taking pictures and i just cant choose one, i have a two year old who is very fast and so fingers automatically snap away, or just because as a whole a series of pictures is much better than just one to tell a story.
my sister T. came in town to surprise my nephew for his belated 18th birthday. i mean a pair of wranglers and his favorite aunt flying in from phoenix was what he wanted and because its my sister.. it was done. she stayed with us the last night before flying out.

random facts:

jammies are awesome. even better if they have panda bears on them. so is madagascar vanilla tea. bedtimes seem to fade when sisters are in town. its cold outside. the hat trudi is wearing was made by good friend kp. he is a guy and that makes it more awesome. these teacups only get used when T. visits. i miss my sister already.

we had a little tea party. this is a little how it went....

my honky tonk girl

2009-10-07T19:44:00.004-05:00

bye, bye, rain boots... you have been replaced. we are sad, but we knew this day would come. now a new favorite graces the shoe lineup. she will be kicking and screaming to wear them no matter what the outfit : dresses, jeans, shorts, or birthday suit...

everything looks great with a pair of cowboy boots.

a girl cant live in nashville without owning a pair

those funny little things called laws

2009-09-27T16:17:00.003-05:00

people get really fired up about laws. i myself usually turn the other way and let other people deal with them. yeah i know, blah blah you are now screaming at the screen saying i should care...well i don't and i have my own reasons. today i did get to thinking about laws and the way people driving me nutty about laws.
no one ever agrees. that's what makes us america right? no one is going to love the president. there is always something better. always a fight. someone either way is going to be wrong in some situation we are in. so my question is... would people be better off if we had no laws? not one at all? imagine what a life that would be. i mean granted if EVERYONE were perfect like well, you and me. well then we wouldn't have a problem. but guess what? laws are made to keep us in check and for lets be honest, stupid people. or you could say human nature.
i cringe when people get so upset about say a "silly laws" like seat belts. i know, i know. our rights are taken away. we have the RIGHT to choose to die in a car or not. but really think about it. does it make you put on your seat belt more? probably so. i put mine on all the time before it became law, it was the law of my parents then. these days its because i am smart but the hassle of a ticket gives me an extra incentive to do it now. its a law. boo. it sucks. BUT it is there to SAVE people. for those idiots who wouldn't think about putting on a seat belt or for the perfect person like myself to REMIND me to put on my seat belt. i really don't think when they passed the seat belt law they were really thinking: "lets be the anti-christ government who hates everyone and make people do stupid silly things like wear seat belts!!!" i have even heard people complain about child seat belt law. REALLY? i do it to protect my child. but would i be inclined to do it every single time if i wasn't an educated mother and it wasn't a law? chances would be lessened i imagine.
life will never be perfect. people break laws everyday and YOU have too. but with no laws can you imagine how much worse things really could be? have you ever drove in a country with no traffic laws? DUDE IT IS SCARY! i am in NO means saying our government is great or even good at that matter but before you complain about every single thing about this america we live in, think about how much worse it would be if there were no laws.
no laws. murders, cigarettes, speeding, school attendance, taxes alcohol, children, jobs, rights, child labor, min wage, prostitution, garbage, environmental.
to have freedom.... don't you have to have laws?

happiness for my soul

2009-09-25T17:45:00.008-05:00

not a huge fan of country right at the moment but i love this song and i love that miranda lambert sang it at the ryman the other night. (sadly this video is from another concert). miranda rocked the ryman and it makes me happy to work concerts like hers. sold out and no drama.

carrie underwood, she totally has you beat and its because she has a soul.

1 review of the show

2 review of the show

it will turn out fine

2009-09-24T17:40:00.004-05:00

oh, to all the new mommies out there. don't let other superior mommies bring you down. i am not a perfect mom. you wont be a perfect mom. they are not a perfect moms. its all gonna be ok.

me a couple days before my doctor & the nurse talked about target's earrings as they cut my stomach open.

so your a new mom or soon to be mom. everyone is telling you what to do, what you shouldn't do. this is stressful to the max. if you don't do this..... your kid will be screwed up for life. if you do that... your kid will also be screwed for life.

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!
STOP!
just be a mom. do what is best for you and your heart. educate yourself, yet don't stress out.

a friend has just had a baby. she is asking me for advice. i think out of my 9 months of advice to her the best i could ever say is "it is all going to be ok". and yes i am a firm believer it will be just that. breastfeeding vs bottle, natural vs c-sections, baby wearing vs baby mozart/cleaning house. its all gonna be ok.
i am not a perfect mom, but i am a good mom. i am.
i ate *gasp* chocolate, donuts and lots of cereal while i was pregnant .. and enjoyed it.
i had a *gasp* c-section in a hospital with drugs and tubes and all.. and happy with it
i supplemented with *gasp* formula after breastfeeding for 11 months.. my baby is healthy
i was a *gasp* co sleeper. yup in my full size bed... and i kicked her out when she kicked me in the face..she sleeps like an angel
i admit i brought out the *gasp* playpen a couple times even though i was a semi baby wearer... she is even-tempered and happy.
i went back to *gasp* work when my baby was 4 months old... she has built wonderful relationships other than me.
i am a good mom and i know it.
girl. you are going to be a good mom too. don't let those people who think their way is the only good way get you down and that you aren't allowed to do things the way you choose. you will make mistakes, those moms have too (even if they wont admit it). in the past i have let these moms make me feel inferior. if you have epidural after giving in to the pain... embrace it. if you cant breastfeed... be thankful there is an option packed full of vitamins. if your baby is screaming after you have done everything you can, put her in her bed, close the door, and count to ten... she will still love you.
if you look like your still 5 months pregnant when she is 1 1/2... its ok
if you cant match your socks because you are too tired.. its ok
if you hate children's music.. its ok
if you haven't had a shower in 3 days... its ok
if you cry right along with your kid.. its ok
if you don't fit in with other mommies.. its ok
if you miss beer and carefree summer concerts.... its ok
if you are confused about all the rules to storing breastmilk... its ok
if your kid falls flat on the dirty grocery store floor and pitches a fit while everyone stares... its ok

if you cry while 7 months pregnant cause you realize this thing has to come out somehow.. its ok
if you cant remember the last movie you saw in the theater.. its ok
if you like your friends but not their kid... its ok
if you want to be at work to get a break... its ok
if your kids eats a birth control pill and you cry while talking to poison control.. its ok
if your kid wants to dress herself and its backwards.. its ok
if you don't want to breastfeed in public.. its ok.
if you have the 3rd generation faded stroller at the park full of crispy new ones.. its ok
if you go out for margaritas and you cant talk about anything but your kid.. its ok

if you cant find your toddlers toothbrush one night... its ok

if your boobs leak on your 1st shopping outing with the girls and you dont notice but your friend does... its ok

if you give your baby a cold bottle... its ok

if your potty training kid poops in the floor right in front of the plumber... its ok

if you cry on the end of your bed at 2:56 am for the 5th night in a row.. its ok

if you let your kid run around the backyard naked because its funny.. its ok

if pictures of your kid out number party pics with your friends... its ok

if you cant afford organic milk and baby food.. its ok

if you don't know what to do .. its ok

its all going to be okay.

3/50

2009-09-11T13:27:00.009-05:00

a couple post ago i mentioned the 3/50 project. i said " i cant do fifty but every little bit counts"

that was a lie.

money is tight, but i would defiantly spend $50 a month somewhere. probably at a national chain store. so i have decided to make a goal and do it. the average is $16.67 a store. i can totally do that.

3/50project.net

here are my 3 committed places this month:

Cumberland Hardware. i have a 1940 cottage that likes to give me a hard time. this makes home depot is my second home (i prolly would spend 50 bucks a month in this store alone or lets be honest $500). cumberland hardware is a store in my neighborhood that has been there forever. they do not carry everything the big store does but they carry the basics. not to mention they have a killer old timey cash register and cats that hang out in the windows. their hours aren't as convenient, but i think i should just try a little harder.
The Green Wagon. its new. just opening its second location in my hood this month. its all eco-green from cleaners to clothing. i am really excited about this place!
The Turnip Truck/Farmers Market. I go to the GhetKro for groceries. i mean i thought i was doing good. i dont drive 3 miles away to the nice kroger just because of the fact i am trying to support my hood. i realize i need to take it a step further and at least try to go to the organic supermarket even if its to buy one thing. this could also be the farmers market there on wednesday. ALL LOCAL.

i manage a local store myself. a non-profit, benefiting an educational institution. its been my goal since i started there to weed out china and buy more local businesses/artist merchandise. although its not very easy... i see first hand how buying locally made items from a local store benefits a whole community. it drives me crazy when i hear people complain all the time how they could go to wal mart and get a flag cheaper, or get a discount at books a million. as i smile back at them...i cringe. do they not realize what they are doing? (not to mention the gas they would spend to go there cancels it out.) i am all about deals dont get me wrong, but they are right there! i actually had a lady sit in my store on the phone with borders reading the ibsn numbers to the sales clerk to see how much cheaper they would give it to her. i couldn't believe the guts of that woman doing that right in front of me. does she not realize how much more profitable to herself and the community buying them from a local yocal would be? i guess not.

so as i spout all this off i realize if i am gonna talk it, i gotta walk it. so this is my accountability ... maybe you will join me.

the moments i live for

2009-09-09T17:22:00.002-05:00

there probably isn't a better place in nashville to have your first ice cream cone than the peanutshop in the arcade on 5th. for a kid its a glorious mecca of sugar. as a downtown worker its like a staple. its where you go when you are having a bad day (or a good one). when the door opens the smell swirls around you drawing you in all the way down the breezeway. they have all the classic candy and every kind of nut covered in chocolate. it stares you down from behind the glass just begging you to go into a coma. the floors are squeaky hardwoods that have seen better days. the walls are completely covered with old advertisements and memories. it gets really crowded, but nobody is ever in a bad mood. its just not allowed. can i mention this is where i found my hot boiled (bawled) peanuts my first month here and exclaimed "OMG! thank god nashville does have a soul!". don't think you can ever strut down the street with even a drip of ice cream on your chin (15 min late from a lunch break) thinking no one will know where you have been. just make sure you bring an extra to bribe with cause you will hear it from everyone you see. the peanut shop saves me weekly as the state workers feeling sorry for me shove their red and white stripe paper bag full of goodies in my face for "just a bite". this came in really handy when i was pregnant i must say. sia had her first actual ice cream "cone" from there today and this is how it went.

she didnt really understand the licking part.

i have a feeling this is about to get real messy

so awesome!!

mmmmmmmm i like it!!

she decided i might want some

helping me out a little and i didnt even ask her to
what a sweetie

all by herself

viva las vegas

2009-09-07T13:29:00.028-05:00

press play...

ambernicholephotography.com

i gotta a feeling,

that tonights gonna be a good night

that tonights gonna be a good, good night

* years way too long.... childhood friends and sisters... after finding who we really are... planes and skies... rehash of stories to relate to.... i'll drink to that...cameras and flashing lights...
tonights the night, lets live it up

i got my money, lets spend it up

go out and smash it, like oh my god

jump off that sofa, lets get, get off

* jumping on hotel beds.... sharing stories... clothes and tears... nevada heat soaking in our skin.... wooden traveling goats...girl invasion.... every surface covered with makeup, creams, and empty cups... bucket list and burgers...friends and enemies made...

i know that we'll have a ball

if we get down go out and lose it all

i feel stressed out, i wanna let it go

let go way out spaced and losing all control.

* bright lights.... bring in the bottles... pools and casino bells.... legs stretching out of limos...beats pounding in ears.... dirty feet from vegas streets...ferraris and screams... fountains and moons and mountains...everything over the top...

fill up my cup, mozoltov

look at her dancing, just take it off

lets paint the town, we'll shut it down

lets burn the roof, then we'll do it again

* smoky eyes and skirts up high... fights and screams for all to hear... red velvet walls smooth and rich... bouncers and beautiful girls...walking up grand nightclub stairs- up and up- memories swirling in my head.... this song begins as i leave...

lets do it lets do it lets do it lets do it

and do it and do it, lets live it up

and do it and do and do it, do it, do it, do it

lets do it, lets do it, lets do it

* glittering sunsets on gold sky high hotels...the clock is ticking....taxi doors slam... the movie pans slowly.... tears of regret of missed memories... back to reality.....

here we come, here we go, we got to rock

easy come, easy go, now we on top

feel the shot, body rock, rock it dont stop

round and round, up and down, around the clock

* ending in classic vegas style... drama of city nights.. hotel keys lost... heels off... spinning rooms while packing bags...dont you dare go to sleep girl....lost in a world of unreality... last call... run and run to catch that plane.

i gotta feeling,

that tonights gonna be a good night

that tonights gonna be a good, good night

what happens in vegas stays in vegas... wouldnt you like to know...

who needs batteries..

2009-08-31T07:17:00.001-05:00

so my daughter got an awesome present yesterday. a dishwasher! (i mean sorry.. how silly of me.. who would want one of those )... a dishwasher box! i kinda thought this look on her face captured the feeling.

save your local!

2009-08-30T13:09:00.014-05:00

sia, lina, and i outside our favorite hood spot: pied piper creamery.

1-2 miles from downtown. beautiful historic houses. tomatoes. tree lined sidewalks. hotdogs in vw vans. polka dot lawnmowers. pride. the beautiful. the good. the bad. the ugly....my side of town. eclectic we are, boring were are not.

here are easties favorite motto's:

(zipcode).. we'll steal your heart and your lawnmower!
(zipcode)... over the river and through the 'hood!
(zipcode)... where everyone knows your name! (scratch out "your name"enter: "dogs name")

you either really, REALLY love my hood or are scared of it. there isn't much grey area. we have really cool locally owned stores and restaurants. we have our own organic farmers market once a week. walkable streets where people walk their dogs/kids... catch up with neighbors. borrow, help, give, share.

a huge difference than 10 years ago it was run down and having a general bad time. the historic houses were in shambles and crime was rampant. in 98 a tornado hit devastating the already hurting hood. prime opportunity for some rehab. of course, all you need is a couple of awesome gay guys to move in to help these houses with all their hidden beauty. it is lovely now.

i admit i live on the "edge". (i always have right?) in the blossom of my life i had a chance to buy a house here. i found i couldn't live with out a certain bay window with pepto bismol walls and god awful checkered floors. you can see how awful here.. 4 houses on my block were vacant and falling apart (including mine). it didn't take long to find out the hood has a few not so wonderful streets and people you could say. i like to give the hard directions to my house the avoid the pawnshop/cash&carry/titleloan road. my lawnmower was stolen (and numerous other articles) and had the non-emergency (EMERGENCY) number memorized. i thought.....

"what have we done?"

BUT in my almost 4 years, the falling down houses have been renovated beautifully. crime as plummeted. the park isn't called prostitution park anymore. i have only seen one cop lurking lately. even the ice cream truck has stepped it up an notch. i have met my neighbors, know their kids, watch their dogs, lend and borrow misc items. found a community.

i guess like me people fell in love with the houses, the pride, and the spirit.

you have heard me say i have a love/hate relationship with where i live. i was defiantly one of those who had to FALL in love. no love at first sight here. but it has grown on me, its mine. i adore it and wouldn't live anywhere else at this moment.

so that was the longest story for the point of this whole blog today. i found this (here)....

CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE

i am such a huge fan of neighborhoods buying local. good for community. good for the environment. this idea is wonderful its a good reminder for me. times are tight and i cant do $50 but every little bit helps.

*update: here is thier website 3/50 project

i {{heart}}

2009-08-26T08:39:00.001-05:00

bday cards

2009-08-26T07:18:00.001-05:00

i dont believe in store bought cards. personally. i mean i gladly accept them because getting a card is amazing.. even better is its for no reason at all. the best cards are as follows

1. store bought but with a LONG personalized note.
2. even better... a handmade card. some of the best cards i have
received are personally made or drawn.

when i was little i made ALL my cards. i even had a logo i put on the back. as an adult i have used my share of store bought cards but i try as much as possible to make my own. even my christmas cards (sometimes this backfires because i totally get in over my head and may not finished them all or they become 2 weeks late.) ps. sorry if yours was never received. i have also made cards for others... invites, bridal, baby, etc.(my personal plug) a co-worker and i want to go into business but well, we need insurance.
i decided when sia was born to make as much as possible handmade for her. i have made her announcements, thanks yous, and birthday invites. however, guess what? surprise! card making is expensive! so this year for sia's birthday invites the goal was to resuse, recycle, beg, borrow, steal. i wasn't allowed to buy anything. here is how they turned out. sorry for the bad photos my camera is still broke.

i took old magazines that had been recycled through all my friends at least twice and cut textured colored paisley designs. set them in a rainbow color wheel.

i recruited mom-in-law to help paste. i couldn't buy modge podge so i just stuck with some old Elmer's glue and watered it down.. it took a couple more coats than usual but it did the job. is left us with a glossy magazine effect with hardly any bubbles.

we were having a painting party so i made paint splash designs

sia made her personal drawing in each card

so i spent $0 (ok, maybe 10 cents for ink)

folded blank cards: a present from my sister

scrap paper

scrap ribbon

recycled magazines

leftover old glue in a closet at work

envelopes of all sizes from grandparents junk drawer

leftover stamps at different prices from many years

my morning

2009-08-25T08:59:00.006-05:00

+ the cumberland river was so beautiful this morning. it was smooth like glass. } but made me want to jump in it just to make it ripple
+ my daughter was offering me tea from her tea party as the sun was streaming through the windows } it panged me with guilt that i couldnt stay because of the need to make money
+ sleeping in is wonderful } it made me in a rush
+ i am lucky my job allows me to wear comfy clothes to work. } i was jealous of the girl outside on the sidewalk with her killer black stilletos and fitting pencil skirt
+ my sweet husband made me coffee } the travel mug was dirty and in the car
+ the bus was empty and i could have any seat i chose and the quiet peace to read } i missed the chatter of little old ladies
+ i love my job } cant help but wonder if there is something more
+ downtown is beautiful in the morning, the sun on the windows, the haze from the river} so is fields of grass

*image borrowed form this guy

birthday joy.

2009-08-23T08:11:00.004-05:00

i am TWO! and obessesed with bicycles ....

mandolin gal

2009-08-17T20:12:00.005-05:00

sia playing her uncle tonys mandolin. she request to play it every day. she sits in the my childhood rocker and rocks while she sings and plays. i think we have a musican on our hands.
* i know alot of pics lately .. i'm just not in a writing mood.

milk

2009-08-17T20:09:00.003-05:00

we had a little milk moment...

happiness is....

2009-08-17T19:28:00.003-05:00

happiness is your mom being a gardener and getting to steal flowers from her.

grandma's milkglass vases, my favorite

*my camera is broke so the iphone will have to do

morning after

2009-08-11T07:59:00.002-05:00

remnents of girls night

where's my bald baby?

2009-08-10T14:26:00.006-05:00

FINALLY! news flash! we can finally do some pigtails!

7 things that make me happy today.

2009-08-08T18:29:00.005-05:00

a. oldies music. loud in my ears. while playing with construction paper.

b. my daughter exclaiming happily "What is THAT!" at tomato art.

c. even though its almost miserable. tomato art fest. i love my neighborhood. gotta love august.

d. a clean tub.

e. the goose bumps i got yesterday during the last line of "pancakes and syrup" while the justin kalk orchestra played.

f. laughing at my kid who wants to run around butt naked in the front yard.

g. graham crackers and milk.

100 truths

2009-08-07T18:05:00.010-05:00

1. i have a B.S. in the fine arts but do not recall more than 5 famous artist names.. nor do i care to.
2. i could eat bananas all day.
3. i love the smell of fall. i wish i could bottle it.
4. i love ice cream on my front porch with my daughter.
5. i plan on only having one child. it drives me crazy when people say i shouldn't.
6. i am a "B". its stands for BLUNT
7. from the day i said " we are leaving this place" its was exactly 2 weeks to the day we moved started life in nashville.
8. that was because a song actually moved me enough to changed my life.
9. there are two subjects i despise that you should avoid in my presence: politics and religion. if you do, you might get an answer you may not like.
10. i only had 2 classes left when a dropped my education major. i don't regret it.
11. i have a love/hate relationship with my neighborhood.
12. i write songs and they are awful.
13. i make the same wish every time i blow out a candle or toss a coin in a fountain.
14. when i like you, i really like you. when i don't, i don't. there isn't an in between.
15. i am 30 and i still don't really know what i want to be when i grow up.
16. diversity and tolerance are high on my life list. its not always easy.
17. wonder if i am doing the right thing by raising a city girl.
18. annoyed by men who catcall, honk, or say "hey baby!" in any way, form, or fashion.
19. my favorite restaurant dosent have great food. i just like to sit in it.
20. hiking is good for my soul.
21.i want to write a book.
22. i hate nosy people. i will never read your email, look in your wallet, or your journal. even if it is open and right in front of me.
23. i wish i had explored more of my city before baby.
24. i am addicted to home decorating blogs and magazines.
25. i thought i really enjoyed gardening. i think i only really like growing tomatoes.
26. i have alot of secrets i will never tell you.
27. i love climbing haybales.
28. i don't give a flip if you are a celebrity.
29. sometimes i am embarrassed to be an american.
30. i love my job itself but i wonder how long i can stand people/person i work with.
31. i hope to have horses and rolling hills.
32. i don't care if my daughter becomes.. amish, atheist, lesbian, millionaire. as long as she find true happiness.
33. sometimes i get lazy and don't recycle.
34. i am an artist somewhere in there.
35. i wear socks to bed but never wake up with them on.
36. i am completely intrigued by abandoned old houses
37. i sit on the couch and smell my daughter's hair while she watches tv
38. i like funny people. i don't think i am funny.
39. farmer's markets delight me.
40. i hate being cold more than anything.
41. i know of a really cool little coffee shop but i wont tell anyone because its my special place.
42. three jumps that have really changed my life: off a bridge in starlight. off a boat into angelfish, off myself into motherhood.
43. i almost got arrested once for swing dancing on top of the nursing building in college at 11 pm

44. i clean the table when i am finished at a restaurant. esp since having a kid. i think its rude not to at least make an effort.
45. people classify me as clumsy.
46. there was an evening in yellowstone national park i thought i might die.
47. i love places with cool atmosphere. i cringe at the dull.
48. i know that i am dorky.
49. i ride the MTA bus. i love it. it makes sense. i am being environmentally friendly. don't feel sorry for me. i am not trashy. i am not poor. its a choice.
50. i just cant keep up with the trends. i give up.
51. i have to control myself as i walk down the street listening to my ipod not to break out in dance
52. i obsessively try to conserve water. the exception is when i take a shower.
53. sometimes i think the people closest to me don't know me at all.
54. maybe that's because i wont let them. they might not like the truth.
55. i soaped the new italian fountain the night before my college graduation. mature
56. i like wine.
57. i have given in and accepted my skin is white and to be comfortable without a tan.
58. i know more about TN history than the normal person should.
59. i crochet.
60. i hate hick mommas. i also had gansta mommas. i cringe the way they talk to their kids.
61. i wish i could travel.
62. i hate when people talk about how fat they are. what am i suppossed to say?
63. i loved being rocked. i made my mom rock me at 6 years old.
64. my favorite thing in the morning is to eat al fresco.
65. i find "bad" humor really funny.
66. i keep forgetting to get my ring resized. its not your business why i don't wear it anyways. i am not property. its a gift i can choose to wear if i feel like it.
67. my name is sunshine or sunshine t. not mrs. t, nor mrs. jared t.
68. i love talking to tourist at work but i hate them on the side of the street. just because they are on vacation doesn't mean they are oblivious to my car.
69. ps. no my parents weren't hippies, nor did they smoke pot, nor am i happy all the time, nor did i make the rain fall, nor can i make the clouds go away. no i don't care if your name is cloudy.
70. i don't eat pizza toppings. not even cheese most of the time.
71. i sit and rock my little baby like she is still actually a little baby. because someday i wont be able to.
72. i'm a "scrapbooker". you can laugh.
73. i love old bookstores.
74. i give an entire background on the historical facts of the ryman auditorium even when people dont ask for that much information.
75. i luurrrvvvv shrimp and grits.
76. i leave an inch of milk in every glass. my husband hates it.
77. i ruthlessly sing pop songs and dance in my kitchen with my daughter when no one is around.

78. i get angry sometimes when people try to talk to me on the bus when i am reading .. don't they know i have a 2 year old!
79. i have a picket fence.
80. i cant throw away my backpacker magazines in hope i will use them someday.
81. i love parties. even more so if there is a theme.
82. i wear glasses. although chances are you may have never seen them.
83. "unchained melody" is one of my favorite songs.
84. at cracker barrel the last thing i eat is a biscuit with strawberry jelly. every time.
85. i still draw with sidewalk chalk.
86. three jobs i think everyone should have once: 1. waiting tables 2. retail at christmas 3. a warehouse assembly line. you don't know what these peoples lives are like until you have tried it.
87. i think our country has come far with rights and freedom, but i think it has a long way to go.
88. most of my friends think i have terrible taste in music. but i think its great.
89. i am annoyed when i eat something healthy and i get snide remarks. like its a crime.
90. i eat alot of chocolate.
91. music snobs annoy me.
92. i collect pennies from the penny machines.
93. i should care more about charities. but i dont.
94. i am awesome at rolling yards.
95. i dislike very much when people talk on cell phones: while we are hanging out, in the bathroom, when checking out, on the bus.
96. i am intimidated by mommy groups.
97 i love peanut butter in chocolate but not peanuts.
98. i hate roller coasters that spin.
99. happiness is summer thunderstorms.
100. oh, there is so much more to me.

zoo

2009-08-06T19:04:00.001-05:00

zoo memberships are awesome.

not exactly social, with kids or goats.

small zoos are awesome because everything is close

my playlist end of summer 09

2009-08-04T18:06:00.005-05:00

1.caroline brewer- walk away
listen here

2.ayo- down on my knees
listen here

3.justin kalk orchestra- ive changed to
listen here

4. sam cooke- i was born by the river

5. kelly clarkson- already gone

6. feist- honey honey

7. frankie vallie and the 4 seasons- walk like a man

8. beatles- blackbird

9. newton falkner- gone in the morning

10. nelly furtado- trynna find a way

11. matt nathanson- still

12. jason mraz- if it kills me

13. kings of leon - use somebody

cleaning lady

2009-07-25T21:25:00.003-05:00

good thing she learned to do dishes before the dishwasher broke.

pic.

2009-07-20T15:24:00.001-05:00

look like some one shares my love for rain.

smell me life

2009-07-07T19:33:00.012-05:00

i have been cleaning with this stuff at work that was found in a closet. all week it has been freaking me out. where have a smelled this before? it took me back somewhere. i just couldn't place it. a place i loved and loathed all at the same time.. i couldn't figure it out for the life of me. just this morning i realized what it was. this amazing cleaner from the great natural state of arkansas was taking me back to my ripe old age of 17.

back to a not so wonderful/most wonderful learning time in my life.

i worked at a campground outside the smoky mountains for a summer. i did everything from baking fudge, frying burgers, giving advice to tourist, cutting hedges, and most importantly cleaning out the "coop". it had a restaurant that specialized in fried chicken. once a week the coop full of frozen chicken had to be cleaned out. i have to say it wasn't pretty , lots of blood and guts and cold. god help you if the chicken had went bad. it was awful.
and i loved it.
obviously, being the newbie and the youngest person there i did alot of cleaning... apparently with arkansas finest "sparkle plus" so it really hit me 12 years later as i am scrubbing my glass counters waiting to be accosted by 300 school kids, my past.
i had grown up spending alot of time in this small town not even a mile from the park boundary during my summers since i was around 8-9 years old. i had friends there and lots of memories. i wasn't a local but, i belonged there more than the average person seeing the sights. i cant really even explain what the place is... its just too weird and unusual. even my husband who has been there cant understand.

a mountain stream. taken by a friend, not sure which one

after graduating high school and having gone thru some not so wonderful times. i ran. i ran to the place i knew i could get away from it all. living alone in a place i had thought i known so well. i realized i didn't know it at all. it was full of surprises. that summer i learned to just be. i could tell you so many stories of my unusual summer of becoming, instead i will save it for myself (or if you want to indulge over a bottle of wine on my porch.) however, i will share the one thing that sticks out the most. the moment it took for me to begin really live. it was a stranger's hand in the dark saying "do you trust me" as we jumped into the nothingness.

smell of pine. stars. crickets. a deep pool of water. frogs. a bridge. a mountain breeze. rushing water. a black so dark i couldn't see the hand in front of my face. my bare feet on the cold stone. a leap. a rush from the pit of my stomach. pure bliss. water so cold to wash away the pain.

even though the bridge isn't that high, it was the longest fall in my head. i saw my new life beginning as it flashed before my eyes until i hit the harsh freezing water. i climbed, slipped and fell up that muddy hill to get back to the road and realized i would never be the same.
to you it may seem like such a silly antidote but to myself it was everything. it began my journey. to always live fully, to trust, to not say no to scary things, to be me.
weird how a stupid cleaner would bring all that back.

me on top of the smokies in 2004

happy 4th!

2009-07-04T13:29:00.002-05:00

quick post then i'm off to play

2009-06-16T11:52:00.008-05:00

i have been reading all this great info on play lately... (and as i should since its has become my new found hobby thanks to my full of energy daughter). first i read a great article my sister showed me about the importance of adult play (which i will link later if i can find it) then, i found the article below which i stole from hippee weird but interesting mom. in addition to recommendation to the book below, which i cant wait to read. i will let you know what i think of it.
i really want to start focusing on less on toys that light up and sing, TV, and such.. and more on wooden/makeshift/natural toys, making music, and being outside rain, snow, or shine. i recall i was pretty imaginative and i hope sia will be too. not to mention thankful for toys she does have and not becoming materialistic .

The Importance of Play by Kytka Hilmar-Jezek, Ph.D. (from the Frugal Families website)
Watching my son turn a tree branch into a sword, an oar, a bridge, and a magic wand within minutes was the inspiration that led to my experiment. When a child's imagination can transform a few simple props into a fairyland, a pirate ship, a store, a restaurant, or a play house, you see real play in action. With some string, a few large cloths, and some twigs, blocks, or bean bags your child has all he or she needs to have the truly rich experience of real play.
Play is serious business. It is through play that our children learn about themselves and their relationship to the world. It is a sad occurrence when we allow our children to spend an afternoon in front of the TV or when we allow them to sit and watch a toy that does its job without the aid of a healthy imagination. When children are kept away from the over-stimulating and imagination-robbing television sets, video games, and toys that come with batteries, the beauty of real play can genuinely shine.
I began to do part-time day care in my home a few months ago and was shocked to see how many children have no idea how to play. They look at my son's baskets of treasures (cloths, sticks, rocks, leaves, pine cones, etc.) and genuinely have no idea of how to transform a pine cone into a "delicious fruit," "the magic crystal," or "little forest folk." Many went home crying, complaining that I have no toys to play with and no TV to watch. Some parents were offended that I did not provide "anything for the children to do."
A few allowed their children to stay, and after a period of time came to realize that day care at my house was a truly enriching experience. They realized many of their youngsters were robbed of their imaginative vision, their creativity, and their ability to think and to discover. These children were from affluent families who "have it all" and on the subject of play, they were the most unfortunate. As the days dragged on (and they did those first few weeks) I found myself not as an adult who just looked after the children, but as a fellow child who wanted to play.
I have to admit now that I considered it a personal mission to bring something rich and joyous into the lives of these "deprived" children. I tried to remember all that I had learned and read as a student teacher about "modeling" appropriate behavior in Waldorf teacher literature. I began with the simple act of modeling fun and curious behavior. I basically wandered around the house and yard, talking to myself, trying to be as free as I could. I spoke to fairies and bugs, greeted the birds and the trees, and began to turn everything I saw into an opportunity to play.
When I gently picked up the old pillow and began to lovingly hum a lullaby to the "baby," these children gave me looks like I had fallen from another planet. When I announced that the restaurant was now serving lunch, and served up plates of leaves and flower petals, they said I was "weird" and "crazy." After some time though, I noticed that they were becoming aware of all of the opportunities opening up to them, if only they looked. I wanted to give them something more, something they were not getting at home...
Although gifts from well-meaning grandparents have added a great selection of games, puzzles, train tracks and trains, and even a few Playmobil sets to my son's collection of toys, these were put away. The only "toys" I made available were a few capes, scarves, two play stands, six clips, a few old bowls, plates, pots, pans, a few wooden spoons, and baskets of items we found in the yard. Outside, we had various lengths of rope hanging from several trees, balls of many sizes, and a couple of kites. It was very difficult at first, but after three months, I must say that even the most unimaginative children were now playing peacefully and very creatively with the simple props I provided.
Every day is a new opportunity for the children to create a new world. They grow self-confident when, "from scratch," they build something wonderful. I notice that they have calmed down and that their play is more focused, quieter, and more fun. When I hear them plan to build a store or set up a house, it is cooperation in action. It is awe inspiring to see how their imaginations have expanded over just a few short weeks. I'm convinced that even late-starters richly benefit from being allowed to be "deprived" of their toys.
Many parents just cannot grasp the concept of real play. With the endless attacks of the media pushing new, improved, do-it-all products at them, it's no wonder. Many of us have become victims of consumerism without even realizing it is so easy to get all caught up in it when we have neighbors, schools, play groups, etc., where children share what they have and don't have. We want to be the best parents that we can be. We want to give our children everything we were denied. But sadly, it is when this occurs that' we actually hurt our children.
The parents that have stuck through the difficult early times have commented how their children love to come over to play. They have asked me where they could get a play stand, some unique clips, and cloth. I tell them that many of our play cloths are old cotton sheets or table cloths, or squares of silk from the thrift shop. I suggest hunting secondhand stores for props that could be used as dress-up clothes; old hats, gloves, belts, skirts, oversized dinner jackets, and more. There are also some wonderful catalogs available where parents dedicated to protecting the art of children's play have made available some wonderful but simple products.
The most important things I learned from my experiment are that it's never too late to start; it doesn't need to be practiced religiously or fanatically; and if we take the time to gently lead our children, they will happily follow. It is, after all, our duty as parents to teach our children. Showing them that it's fun to roll down a hill, act silly with a huge pine cone on our heads, or construct a structure from twigs, rocks, leaves, or whatever you may find in the yard is what being a parent is all about.
Play springs forth from within the imagination. A healthy imagination is nurtured by protecting it from harmful outside images of unreal or grotesque images (such as the cartoons on television or in video games). Basic simplicity invites the imagination to awaken. An awakened imagination fosters creativity, which leads to problem solving, innovative thinking, and rich experiences. Put away all of your children's toys for a day, dispose of your adult inhibitions, and let the real play begin.

you might have a problem if...

2009-06-05T23:02:00.006-05:00

you might have a problem if you buy journals obsessively and never write in them.

recently, i have been to the far away land of boxes filled with childhood crap. my dad kicked all my stuff out to the curb when i was in college so he could fix up the house and i just shifted it over to mother in laws basement. inevitably, this coincided with our big move into the iitty bitty one room apartment where we had to put everything we owned in the basement also.

mom-in-law had no idea what important things she was babysitting. things like: a coca-cola bottle from the alabama national championship 1991 (ish), 52 or so foreign coins, a telephone cord, bank statements from 1999, my first paycheck stub, boxes full of notes to friends from church who i don't remember, a plethora of archie comics, and 1 teen boop magazine just to name a few. surely, i thought these things i would need in the future. we have lived here for a while now and even though i know she (and kitty who rightly owns the basement) will miss all my precious possessions... it was time to open the vault.

i have finally got the guts to purge. in doing so i remembered my dirty little secret. i LOVE journals. ok. i like to think i am a writer but no, i just think they are pretty. it was like every box i went through i found one more. with one page written in it.. they usually go something like this...

February 6, 2002

well here i am again trying to write in one of these stupid things i don't know why i do this i always try and never keep it up.

i guess this is not completely true because i do have a couple precious ones i have kept up with. i have found that when i read my past i usually cringe or worse, all that writing and this happens...

hot pink journal dropped in bathtub while writing 2005: almost full.

my favorite entries are more the typical of myself. instead of writing day to day accounts of my life, i usually draw what i am feeling or paste random souvenirs of the event. its more like hints or secret maps. alot of what is written is more reminders than journal entries. i paste words or pictures from magazines, write lyrics of songs that move me or reminded me of a moment. i save the stupidest stuff too.. things not worth anything except to my memory. when i die whoever goes through my stuff is going to be like" what the heck! this chick was a weirdo."

so even though i cringe, laugh, or cry at what the stuff that i wrote. its there at least for me to remember my life (or for someone else to try to figure me out when i die). all that stuff in there is me and i'm not sure if i would change any of it. to change it would change me.

on the left one of my favorite covers of my journals given to me in college by andrea.

to the right, a page of my life.

even though they are oh so pretty and cool... the pages so fresh and clean..... and the binding so perfect .... the ridiculous top picture of half empty journals has made me make a pact with myself: not to by another journal until i have successfully finished and completed a whole one.

looks like i might be waiting awhile. but the temptation is oh so great.

cool

2009-05-14T23:15:00.005-05:00

i think i have seen this picture before....

oh wait yes... my tanya tucker fan friend from arkansas....

swing swing

2009-05-14T18:58:00.001-05:00

we really didnt get sia anything for her birthday last year. i was at the store at 11pm the night before looking for a liitle tykes swing. in august it just wasnt going to happen. i was so determined, but no luck.

she finally got one a half year later and is enjoying it throughly. the park swings just do not do justice to one hanging from a tree in your very own backyard!

pic of the day

2009-05-13T19:50:00.002-05:00

i think i have a future outdoorswoman on my hands she loves everything dirt/flower/ rain/ sun/moon/bug related. i think the camp shorts fit her perfectly!

can i tell you how much i LOVE my neighbors? i got these pots when she was cleaning out her basement! awesomeness!

ah flowers.

2009-05-12T21:49:00.001-05:00

I put these up a couple weeks ago but forgot to post them. unfortunatly these arent mine, they are my neighbors. i do plan on stealing some bulbs this fall arent they gorgeous????

bus chronicles part1

2009-04-15T17:58:00.008-05:00

there is a group of ladies on my bus every morning i wish you could see. if i had any guts at all i would be interviewing them every morning with my voice recorder. gathering information on their lives for the book i will write about them someday. to people in large cities this may be the norm, but living in a city where public transportation is not the norm i feel i should share.

in the front section of the buses the seats face each other. the rest of the seats face forward and rise towards the back. this is where old ladies and women with kids usually have first dibs. they also fold up to accommodate wheelchairs. every morning at 9 am there is a group of 2-6 women who occupy the area. you better be a complete invalid if you don't move over when they arrive.

i have "my" seat too. it is the first one, at the second rise, by the back door. i actually get pretty pissed myself if anyone has beat me to it. its the best seat in the house because you get the view of almost everyone, driver included. (not only that but it keeps me from puking.) my main reason for the love affair with this seat is i get an entire episode of the group every morning.

i am completely intrigued. here is a couple of them i would like you to meet...

first, we have lipstick lady. she has been living stories for quite a while now. she has snow white hair cropped at her shoulders. she wear linen crop pants (with socks mind you). topped of with the reddest lipstick i have every seen. it is pretty much smeared all over her mouth. she has a very distinct limp and walks with a cane. i always get a smile every time i get on the bus. she is sweet all the way down to he scratched up classic reeboks. i have seen her walk really far with that limp carrying lots of groceries but she exclaims "i used to look good then i started watching tv and now all i do is sit on my butt!"

second, we have church hat lady. she is every bit of 1980's perfection. in her 70's, her outfits match ever so completely all the way down to her shoelaces. you never know what kind of day it may be... red & white day, green & yellow day black & gold day. she has all the details down to her purse and the matching bow on her sunhat. you can tell she was a looker back in her day by the way she carries herself and the way she as such graceful hands.

next, is window washer lady. she is short and feisty with long grey hair all the way down her back. its so long she sits on it even though she wears a ponytail everyday. i'm not sure what all she does but you can usually find her in shorts carrying a bucket and a window washing stick. at odd times she can be found with various other tools she is going to perform a task with. even though she bossed me out of her seat once (while carrying an infant) she is really nice. she will help any new comer on bus etiquette and schedules around town. you name a location and she can tell you what bus to take at what time.

then there is sweet M. every time she rides you can find all these ladies huddled around her counting her change. she goes to a school somewhere on the other side of the city. she is maybe in her fifties but probably never got past third grade studies. she loves chips with a passion and apparently her caretaker doesn't allow them in her lunch box. she bribes the little old ladies on the bus for change so that she can buy them form the vending machine at school. on valentines day last year she gave me a box of hearts. in addition, the other day after about 8 minutes of trying to figure out what she was saying, i discovered i would have easter candy if i rode the next day. a complete dear even though i have to climb over her legs sprawled out all in the isle... everyday while trying to balance all my bags and coffee.

a new comer to the group is unexpected. she is what i have never had the guts to do. she is near my age but she sits with the little old lady clan. she could by far be any of the ladies kid or grandchild for that matter. she has home highlighted hair and big blue eyes. you would think she wouldn't really be the friendly type. but she sits and converses with them all with the most sincere smile on her face. she eats up every piece of advice and every word of gossip.

when they all converge its like you end up watching a group teenagers giggling and gossiping in the wrong bodies. they are completely charming. that is unless you are a guy... i have seen men try to sit and put their two cents in thinking they could keep up with all their clucking. you better believe every man left that bus pretty worn out after they tore him to shreds.

........... to be continued....................

who am i anymore?

2009-04-13T13:14:00.006-05:00

sometimes i just want to do this too>

so i wanted to share a couple nice things i enjoyed in blog world.

i watched an episode of momversation today and subject was ..

why is that i talk about my kid constantly?

it was really great to watch...cause that's all i do!

i am really sorry, i am! but she is just so dang cute!

i have figured out it is not ENTIRELY my fault. i have been trained to do it! as soon as i announced i was pregnant it was like i was lost to every one as a person. no longer was i sunshine. no one asked how i was doing as a person just as a person carrying a child. no one looked at my face any more, only my belly.

furthermore, as soon as she was born i was bombarded by a new question that is said to me EVERY day... "how is that baby!?" (not that i mind of course, cause she is by far my favorite subject.) i find myself having to refrain from telling them about the new tooth that is coming in and has kept me up all week, the funny thing that happened while she sat on the potty, or the completely gross poop she had earlier. to just replying "aw she is fine" this is because i have realized there is no possible way they really even care how she is really doing (and i have seen peoples eyes glaze over if i say more than "she sure is getting big").

but also so have my days when i want to scream. i don't want to talk about my kid!

"HEY I AM STILL ALIVE!!! HEY!! ITS ME!! REMEMBER??? SUNSHINE?? UNDER ALL THE SPIT UP STAINS, THE MISMATCHED SOCKS, AND BAGGY EYES! I"M STILL HERE!! I CAN STILL DRINK BEER AND TALK ABOUT BRAD PITT!!"

hmmm. no one seems to be listening or maybe its just me.

its so weird how i have been completely washed with this amazing thing as mommyhood. it has given me a different kind of self worth that i never had before. yet, when i seem to get in public even with my closest friends i seem to lose all cool. my socks are very apparently mismatched, i remember i don't crave beer anymore, nor do i know whats going on with brad pitt.. just elmo.

a couple months back i was talking to a friend who lives far away. she has two darling (and very close in age) babies. we talk and talk about our kids. we actually went through a rough spot before i had a baby. not that we were weren't friends any more just that we didn't understand each other... lost things to talk about. it all came back to normal as i craved a mommy friend who understood. however, one day mid baby sentence, i stopped her and i say "so what has been going on with you? not your kids.. have you read any good books? have you painted any? what are you interested in at the moment?" she was stumped. she seriously stumbled around for a minute not knowing what to say. i think it had been awhile for her too. i now have to remind myself with my friends with kids to ask questions about life during naptimes.

another one that i enjoyed was.. this great article by GIRLS GONE CHILD.

i can totally relate. i felt that way as a new mom. although i still only have one child, things are getting easier. i don't feel so much like a "child with a child". i am finding amazing moms who even though i was actually intimidated by before are real and not perfect either.. it has been a relief to find they aren't too high on the mommy scale for me to relate ....

their kids get dirty. they let a cuss word slip. their kid can throw a good tantrum too. they have to leave when the kid just wont behave. they don't have time to wash dirty hair. they cant carry on a normal convo with out screaming NO! mid sentence. they send their kid to gasp inner city public schools. they are intimidated by the polished girl at the next booth. they wonder if they are doing every thing right.

i am not so alone.

oh, to just pack up and go...

2009-04-05T13:18:00.005-05:00

its really gorgeous outside.

today i just really want to go fishing.

let me just reminisce my carefree days for a moment.

lets go back to 2005

the "skinny" on...

2009-04-04T11:51:00.002-05:00

this is a huge touchy subject for me to write about. as i type i am wondering if i should really even do it. the subject.

skinny! skinny! skinny! shut up with all the skinny!

this is all brought on by exactly 6 skinny comments in a 5 min span at a party the other night. the last one a lady pulled me down to whisper in my ear " guess what? i have a new pet peeve. girls who have had babies and are SO skinny !!!! (meaning you)". i am sure it was said in all the nicest way. its just after so many it can really get old. guess what i have a peeve too! its the skinny peeve.

this is just my rant.

skinny is not a subject i am not really free to talk about. i am small. if i have ever done so in the past i have gotten totally bashed and rolled eyes and anger. but i'm not really writing about the issue of skinny vs fat. its more about the language used and how it can make someone feel.

why is it people feel as though they can freely come up to me daily and point fingers in my face and make rude "skinny" comments? i have never gone up to any one in my life and said. "look at you, you are fat."

take a look at the following pictures... how do they make you feel? do they make you feel good? do you want to look like them?

oh no? well me either.

skinny doesn't equal pretty in my mind. nor does it equal healthy either.

people have said to me (as they rolled their eyes) "how can you get mad when people call you skinny? you should take it as a compliment and be happy cause you don't know what its like to be fat?" well maybe i should, or maybe i could? if the compliments were compliments. to me when you say skinny the way you do, the images above come to my mind. its finger pointing and blame. i have had people ask me point blank as they grab my wrist... "are you anorexic? do you ever eat?" how do you think that makes me feel?

pretty ugly actually.

just because i am small does not mean i am healthy. i eat crap. i cant walk up stairs without panting... no gasping for air. i have some pretty good cellulite back there (i am just hiding it from you). i cant even touch my toes and i have absolutely no muscle mass whatsoever.

i don't even know this body of mine since having a baby. i cant say i'm exactly comfortable in it. but i have to say one of the awesome things i experienced when getting pregnant was gaining weight and people telling me how they have never seen me look better. i was begging to keep those extra pounds.

so here it is. we are girls. we have body issues. amazing HUH?? who knew? if you need to know more...i have horrible skin (which i have to be on top of to not look like a 15 year old), i have tons of nasty moles (which a doctor has to scrape on every year because i am high risk to skin cancer), on the back of my legs i have a map of veins i have had since high school (which are getting so bad i cant even wear shorts in public), my hands are getting wrinkles because of losing weight in addition to that grossness have a weird ugly rash on my fingers that wont go away, my gums show way too much, i still have a baby belly that i don't find attractive, my boobs are .. wait what boobs?

i'm going to bet even this girl has something she doesn't like.. she just is probably hiding it.

so my rant is.

if you feel so inclined to tell me what you think. try a new word. you know some things i would love to hear? try on some of these.

you look really awesome today!

that color is so good for you!

your just glowing!

you make that outfit work!

you are a really good person!

you have pretty____!

i like your style!

you are wonderful mom!

but please don't call me skinny. its really worn thin.

growing up

2009-04-03T08:59:00.001-05:00

looks like we are about to have some exciting times! at least she LOVES her new potty seat. she is kinda obsessed with it!

spring!

2009-04-01T07:19:00.002-05:00

yeah! spring is here! (ish) this is the first year to see me my redbuds bloom. thanks to the neighborhood association (eastwood neighbors) last year i got 2 redbud trees. the association has been working hard to bring our neighborhood together and unify it. they chose the redbud tree to plant throughout the hood to be our signature tree. its cool because it is native to tennessee. it was great ... our block needed a little help.
they came at a perfect time. i was trying to find an ornamental tree to put in my front yard. i couldn't get one that grew too tall becasue of the power lines. i may not stay in this house a long time, but then again i might. i love trees in front yards, i feel sad for those who do not have them. right now i have a really awesome huge tree i love. it shades most of our front yard. the thing is.. its old and i am afraid it wont be there forever. i would hate for it to have to be cut down someday and there is nothing to replace it. even if i wasn't going to be here then i would want the next family to have trees that were sturdy and in place. i also love that to get to my porch you have to walk by trees that have hearts as leaves.. kinda cool symbolism to me.

so here is my favorite additions to my yard... sia loves to pick the booms and put them in her hair.. i dont know why..

other signs of spring...

caroline brewer and brew

2009-03-30T12:29:00.007-05:00

i had a great time seeing my friend caroline brewer play at the 12th south taproom this past weekend. she is leaving for a little excursion of sorts and will be gone till the middle of july. i'm sad but at least we all got to hand out and hear her play. yippee for $3 drafts till ten! cheers to a good night!

maggie (my new and dear friend), khristy my kinda sorta co-worker, and me.

caroline brewer

check her out here

new baby!

2009-03-30T09:13:00.003-05:00

my good friend P. just had her baby recently! i'm so excited!!! thought i would share with those who know her!

Viva Luz

March 7, 2009

She was 7lb 12oz

20 1/4 inches

yum.

2009-03-27T08:14:00.007-05:00

these were taken a couple weeks ago and thought i would share becasue they are funny. we was just starting to use the spoon and doing it fabulously!!

sia decided she wanted to help herself....

ick.

2009-03-27T07:22:00.001-05:00

i was watching a south park episode the other night and it was all about lice. it was horrible gross yet i couldn't quit watching it cause well, its south park. it just grabs you and pulls you in because its so terribly funny.

i commented how is it we have so much knowledge, yet kids rich and poor still get lice by the classroomfull. i also mention its the same for the common cold.. how is this possible? then i read this slide today about the top 10 medical mysteries and the common cold was included. so weird to me. we know all this stuff about technology, science, cancer, bacterias, etc. and we cant even get rid of the most simple annoyances in life.